Friday, October 31, 2014

Target

Call it what you must: Target, Tarjay {though I may judge you a bit for that one}… Well, I call it my drug of choice. No matter how hard I try, I just CANNOT stay away! And when I go in, boy is my wallet in trouble.


I was recently out running some errands, and I wasn't even planning to go to Target, but it's like my car felt some weird gravitational pull and I was drawn into the parking lot. Now, don't ask me how because my errands weren't even in that part of of town. What can I say? My brain car told me to!

I tried my best not to go. And by that, I of course mean I rationalized the whole thing by saying I needed to stop for some paper towels & I needed a cup of coffee… And Target has both packs of Bounty AND a Starbucks. I'll tell ya, having a brain that works this way is a killer.

I walked in and grab a cart because, well, why not who are we kidding?

Let's be real. The Target struggle is similar to that of a junkie. In both scenarios:

  1. You get so excited when you spot your drug of choice 
  2. Your euphoria as you take this drug is unparalleled to any other experience.
  3. After it's over, intense guilt and shame immediately follow--then you pledge NEVER to do it again.
  4. Withdrawal sets in and you use again. Lather rinse repeat.
I won't get into detail about what I bought, and I think it has something to do with #3. 

But I will say I was wearing a red shirt that day {of course} and some lady walked up and asked me where she could find a welcome mat. I mean, I've never worked at a Target… But I practically live there so of course I knew where they were. I walked her over there and found some weird silver bucket I couldn't live without {but now am planning to take back}. Let's face it, I'm never going to take it back. And if I do make the trip to return it, I'll end up spending $213 and I'll be all: "What the heck just happened?!"

While we're on the subject? I can't WAIT for these commercials to come back. 


That crazy Target lady is my soul sister.


Thursday, October 30, 2014

Bad Marriage Advice

When you get married, everyone has to put in their 2 cents… And I do mean EVERYONE. From the never been married folks--to the people who have been married 6 times--and everyone in between. Some of it sounds really great in theory… And some of it you hear so many times, you assume it must be true. The longer I'm married, the more I realize most of the junk I heard is an absolute crock.



1) Happy wife happy life. Now, there is some truth to this statement. But isn't a happy husband important, too? Do not use this little adage to treat the good man you married like garbage. Stitch it on a pillow if you must, ladies… {BUT} Be kind to your husband or you may wake up one day without one. Seeking to make yourself happy all the time to his detriment will make you a FIRST wife. And I promise that will make you anything but happy. 



2) You can only be happy if you're old enough/rich enough/have all your junk together before you get married. Balderdash. I am a firm believer that age & financial status have NOTHING to do how happy a couple will be when they wed. It has everything to do with their commitment level. Some of the most miserable people I know have incredibly charmed {and meticulously planned out} lives. Some of the happiest people I know have nothing but each other {we were that couple}. When we got married, we lived in a 700 square foot apartment. We had a bunch of hand-me-down furniture, one car worth less than $3,000, a newborn baby, and our dreams. That was it.  Well, that and our commitment to each other. And you know what? I'd do it again.



3) If you're going to be married that long, you'd better see eye to eye. Wait. What? How is someone supposed to be find someone to marry who thinks exactly like them? A spouse is not a minion, so don't expect them to be! You ARE going to have disagreements in marriage. And you know what? That's a good thing. Marriage is incredibly refining if we let it be. Your spouse will change you for the better, if you let them. Let your spouse's differences infiltrate your heart & open your mind to new possibilities. My husband and I are very yin and yang. We could not be more opposite. And while it can be frustrating sometimes, I like it that way! We balance each other out and give each other what the other lacks.



4) Don't go to bed angry. This one sounds good in theory. But you know what can happen if you stick to this one? You stay up until 3am feeling intense pressure to work your junk out. Then out of frustration and sleep deprivation, you'll inevitably end up saying {or screaming} a bunch of stuff you'll really regret. {Not that this comes from the voice of experience or anything…} Sometimes cooling off is necessary--and sleep is ALWAYS good for a marriage!



5) Always say what you feel. Really? I should always tell my husband all of his annoying habits? And he should always tell me when I could use some more makeup? Some things really are better left unsaid. Unless, of course, they are out of love for your partner. Don't go sneaking around & keeping secrets, but DO filter yourself. People who ALWAYS say what they want in the moment they want to say it… Well…



So there ya have it. My unsolicited marriage advice. Of course, feel free to chuck it out the window if it doesn't work for you. The only one who can tell you what works and what doesn't is Y-O-U. Hey, do your OWN thang.


Monday, October 27, 2014

Peach Pie Smoothie

We have gone through our fair share of blenders in our house. And by that, I mean 7. 7 blenders. We're addicted to smoothies. And by we, I actually mean me.
What can I say? I've got a fever. And the only prescription is more cowbell smoothies.



Especially this one. It tastes like a slice of summer pie in a glass, except it's a whole lot easier healthier. Check it out:

Peach Pie Smoothies

Even better? Any idiot could do it. 

Ready for the recipe?

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup frozen peaches
  • 1 overripe banana
  • 3/4 cup unsweetened almond milk
  • 1/2 cup vanilla yogurt
  • 2 tsp cinnamon
  • 1 tsp honey
  • 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
Directions:

  1. Combine ingredients in a blender. Blend baby, blend! Add in a little water if it's too thick. Add in a little ice if it's too thin. Enjoy. Cowbell optional.
Peach Pie Smoothie