Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Let Him Watch Porn

My husband and I have a 10 year old son. We're getting to the age where someday soon, we have to give him "the talk". Now, I am not a person who believes "the talk" should be one long awkward conversation. We'd rather have several mini "talks" to make the facts of life easier to digest. When he was little, we talked a lot about how God made him. He made his whole body and it is a good thing. We talked about how to use his body for God: use his hands to create, to write, to work hard. He can use his feet to dance, to run fast, to play, etc. Then, as he got older and wasn't with us 100% of the time, we talked about how his body belongs to him. No one else can touch him without his consent {Yes, this extends to hugs too. Kids shouldn't have to hug someone if they don't want to!} Now, with technology being right at his fingertips all the time, my husband and I are talking a lot about how to tackle the subject of porn. 



We're people who think porn is harmful. That is our belief. We've done a lot of reading up and fact checking for us to reach this decision. Most of our research has been secular, not based on our religious beliefs. For example, when serial killer Ted Bundy did his last interview the night before he was executed, did he want to brag about what he'd done? Apologize? Make excuses? No. He wanted to warn the world about pornography because of the role it played in how his life had turned out. You can read the transcript here. Definitely give it a read. Another example of someone who publicly spoke out against porn is Russell Brand. Watch his video on the matter here {seriously--it's fascinating}. Other celebrities have spoken out on how porn has been problematic in their lives. These include Hugh Grant and and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Check out what they have to say here. What do all of these people have in common? They are not Rick Warren or Billy Graham. They're not religious people setting forth the typical religious agenda of "Porn is bad. Jesus disapproves. Don't watch it. That's all." There are also plenty of secular academic studies that prove that porn literally rewires the brain, to its detriment. See here. There are countless others. Porn doesn't just harm the viewer, it can harm the porn star as well. Read here.



Anyway, my husband and I are thinking about how to have this conversation because now the average age for first viewing of porn is 11 {see here}. Let that sink in for a sec. 11. Crazy town! Even if we try to keep him from finding it, porn now will eventually find him. We were in our bedroom talking about all these facts and research we've turned up, and we were talking about how to upload this information we found into our son's brain so that he is able to navigate his life having all the information available. Later that night, I saw an interesting fact sheet over on Fight The New Drug's Facebook page {see the fact sheet here}. The page said that the most commonly used word in porn commentary was a surprising one. It's not an expletive, it's not a sexual term, the word is {get ready for it}: LOVE. Say what?! Regardless of your stance on this issue, I think we can all agree that the word "love" is a weird choice for #1. Porn ≠ Love. [[SOMEONE CUE JACKIE DESHANNON SINGING "WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS NOW IS LOVE"]] My husband was already asleep, and I thought this would be interesting information to pass on for later discussion, so I tagged him on Facebook. Some lady took this as an opportunity to weigh in on the situation and said this to me:





"Let him watch porn. Don't be so insecure." Um. Thanks? Thanks for your rude & unsolicited advice to a stranger, lady. It was assumed that I was talking about controlling my husband & not allowing him to watch porn, when that's not what happened behind the scenes at all! In her mind, I guess I am some insecure, neurotic control freak that has him on a short leash. Not true, lady. Not true. WE {not HE, not ME} choose not to view porn. We choose to focus on the real thing over the screen. But thanks for checking on us.


You can't find this with a point and click.



No comments :

Post a Comment