Thursday, January 14, 2016

The Year of Thirty

If you've been following my blog for any time at all, you know that I've lived survived life from a very, very, very low place. I've just masked it for a very, very, very long time. A lot of my friends would describe me as the peppy one. The silly one. The encouraging one. That is not how I would describe myself {IRL} at all. You can read my past writings on that here, herehere, here, and here. That's not the focus on today's agenda! Today's agenda is about looking forward, not back. I'm turning 30 this year, and I {all of the sudden} got this urge to do something crazy to commemorate the occasion. I put up a Facebook poll and got a lot of great responses, and I couldn't choose between a lot of them. Then it dawned on me! I should do LOTS of crazy things! I've come out of a lot of turmoil and strife in my life, so I want my 30th year to mean something different. A new leaf, a fresh start, or whatever cliché you want to insert here.

I used to be the crazy girl, the impulsive one, now I own about 37 cardigans that I wear everywhere and my idea of a wild time is using the express lane for 12 items. Somewhere along the way, I lost it. I'm looking forward to finding that little spark of madness I once had. I decided to do 30 things in my year of 30. I'm started this list with 7, and added to it as more ideas popped up.  I'll be blogging on each item I cross off.

  1. Cover over a tattoo that I got when I was 18. I'm excited to do this for two reasons, 1) I got that tattoo in a more carefree time. While I was definitely lost, I still had a lot more fun back then. I'm excited to remember that time BUT 2) The tattoo is faded, and it never really meant anything to me. I'm excited to cover it over with something so much more meaningful from my year of thirty. 
  2. Get another tattoo. I want another tattoo on my wrist, also meaningful. I'm excited to show y'all when I get it done.
  3. Get my nose pierced. WHO HAVE I BECOME?! I never thought I'd see the day!
  4. Make one more push to have more kids. You know, secondary infertility is a tricky thing. You have so much joy in having the kid{s} you have, but you hurt for the one{s} who don't have, but so badly want. I want to get some other medical opinions and get on some adoption lists just to see. I'm not sure it will work, but I don't want to look back in my old age and regret not trying one more time. This time it's about closure, not desperation for anything to happen. So I feel like I'll be at peace with whatever God lays out for us.
  5. Go on an amazing trip. Alone. I know that sounds weird, doesn't it? It sounds weird in my mind too. I never got to experience a whole lot of life on my own, and what I did get to experience was drenched in alcohol at 17-18 years old. I'd love to make a magical memory that is just mine.
  6. Write a book. Note: Not publish a book. I've been wanting to write a novel for a while now, and I'd love to get it finished this year. I don't want too add in any pressure on myself in getting it published. Even if it just takes up space on my hard drive, I just need to make something that is creatively and intellectually amazing.
  7. Get an amazing job. I've helped people all my life, and I want to make a career of it this year. I love working with my clients in my personal chef biz, and it's been lucrative, but my purpose is to help people with bigger problems than menus.
  8. Get back into yoga. The first time I did yoga, my life was changed. Never have I ever breathed like that before, and afterward it felt as if 2 tons of bricks were unloaded off of my shoulders. It was incredibly calming and energizing at the same time. I want to make this a bigger priority in my life and make time for it often.
  9. Lose weight. I know, it's kind of cliche. But I'm actually the heaviest I've ever been in my life, and I just don't feel comfortable in my own skin. Depression and stress eating has take a huge toll on my body, and I'm done letting it own me. I want to dump this weight for good. 
  10. Build a house. We're about to move to a new city, and the idea of building our forever home that our grandchildren will someday visit is so exciting.
  11. Find my tribe. As I said, we're about to move, and I want to find friends that are on my team. I want to be on their team. I'm done with the games and backstabbing and gossip and drama. I want to find a tribe that always bans together and has one another's backs. 
  12. Forgive. If you've been reading my blog for any time at all, then you know I've had a rough run with people over the last few years. I have a lot of forgiveness to do to move forward. I don't want to just think happy little thoughts about forgiveness and letting go of the past, I want to actually do it. 
  13. Change a stranger's life. I want to do something for someone that is so powerful that it changes the trajectory of their life. I'm calling on God to bring me someone who needs to know Him, and I pray that He reaches them through me. I don't know what that looks like. Maybe it's an at-risk youth. Maybe it's a lonely widow. Maybe it's a teen mom. I'm excited about the prospect. 
  14. Become a better wife. I want to stop picking at him for little things he does that irritate me and instead show gratitude for all the big things he does that amaze me.
  15. Become a better mom. I want to spend more time thinking about values I want my son to have, and spend even more time helping him develop those traits. 
  16. Spend more time in nature. I'm not really a huge nature girl, and camping is just not my idea of a good time. But I do reconnect with God in places with no cell signal, no distractions, and just natural beauty. This year I want to embrace nature.
  17. Fight for a cause I care about. It's great to allocate money to a cause, and that is something I do frequently, but I want to actually put up my dukes and fight for something I care about. I want to show up and put in the man hours required to make a difference. 
  18. Read outside the box. I read a lot. Like, A LOT. But I also end up reading the same sorts of books. I'd like to switch things up this year and check things out of the library I normally wouldn't.
  19. Practice photography skills. I love the creative process, but my fancy camera I just couldn't live without intimidates me. I want to figure out what all the modes and menus mean and take better pictures. Maybe I'll do some reading online, or maybe I'll take an actual class. Either way I plan to point and click a lot.
  20. Watch more worldwide news. But I don't want to be consumed by it. I used to think that the news was just depressing, biased, or not worth my time. But my stance has changed a bit. I want to see the problems in the world so I can take action to hopefully make a difference. I already have an altruistic heart, but I need to know where that altruism is needed.

To be continued……..

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